Hillary Wilkinson: (01:46)

When we talk to families and parents about healthy screen habits an overwhelming sentiment that gets expressed, is how alone people feel in this challenge to keep tech from overtaking their family life. I am so excited to have today a tool that can literally change the trajectory of the talk about tech in your house. The ladies who wrote and designed it are the best in the field. And I can say this with complete confidence because I am lucky enough to work with them every day. Amy Adams and Jeannie Ondelacy Sprague are the authors of Healthy Screen Habits workbook for tweens and teens. It's just dropped and we are going to hear all about it. The three of us plus Juliana Lorenzen founded Healthy Screen Habits back in 2018 because we were those parents feeling alone in the field, and we needed to come together. As a school social worker. Amy Adams knows what challenges tweens are facing every day. And as an educational psychologist, Jeannie Ondelacy Sprague understands how tweens and teens learn and retain information together. They have pulled their expertise plus their knowledge of motherhood to create a workbook that it's okay. I know I'm biased, but it is awesome and it resonates with tweens and teens. I am so lucky not just to call them colleagues, but also my very good friends. Welcome to the mic, Amy and Jeannie!

 Jeannie Ondelacy Sprague, M.Ed, Amy Adams, LCSW, PPSC: (04:01)

. Hello. Hello. Hillary .

Hillary Wilkinson: (04:06)

It's so fun to have you guys here. So I, uh, let's just, we need to give a lot of background on this because this was not a, um, this was not a resource that was jumped into lightly. And I think it's best to start with kind of like what, you know, we're gonna take a little page outta Maria from the sound of the music. We're gonna start at the very beginning. And what was the motivation behind writing this book?

Amy Adams, LCSW, PPSC: (04:40)

All right. Well, this is Amy. And you know, they say that necessity is the mother of invention. And for Jeannie and I, we both have four kids, and our kids are roughly the same ages. So we've got teenagers, you know, from ages 12 to 19. We've got eight kids between us, between those ages. So years ago, as our kids were becoming into that phase of teenagehood, and this is an, you know, technology has changed so rapidly in the last 20 years since we've become parents, we've seen huge changes in technology. So, just to give you kind of background on that, my second child was born the year that the iPhone was born. And so as my kids got a little bit older heading towards that teenage hood, we both kind of realized, Hey, this is coming at us and we have to figure out how we want our children to interface with technology.

Amy Adams, LCSW, PPSC: (05:37)

Now, this was kind of when everything was just really, really new. And so there wasn't a lot out there, and it was kinda the wild, wild west. And so I looked, Jeannie looked, we both looked for resources that we could buy. 'cause you know, that's what you do when you need something. You, you go online, you buy something, you buy a book. But there was nothing really out there to teach our children what to do with these phones. We didn't have a lot of guidance back then. And I remember thinking, well, I want someone just to tell me what to do. And then the thought popped into my head of like, well, maybe that's my job. Maybe I need to figure this out. And so Jeannie and I teamed up and we started doing all this research about all aspects of technology and phones and all things related to that and to our kids.

Amy Adams, LCSW, PPSC: (06:27)

And just came up with important topics that we wanted to know more about. Well, what started as a personal project kind of for our families turned into something more. We thought, well, you know, so it was originally written in mind for the audience of our children. And then we thought, well, this is actually beneficial. This could benefit a lot of other people's children. 'cause if I'm a mom and I'm having these, you know, desires to help my kids, I'm sure other moms want to help their kids too. And so we wanted to create something really awesome and fun that kids would actually want to look at. 'cause we understand that is a real thing with kids in this age category, and hence came healthy screen habits, you know, um, for teens and for tweens and teens, a training workbook to help you use your phone wisely. So this has been a many year long project, and we've worked very closely together to make this happen.

Hillary Wilkinson: (07:23)There was a whole lot of chat, uh, when this whole process began about whether it should be an online course or a physical book. I mean, we talked about this back and forth and back and forth. Why did you ultimately decide on a physical book?

Jeannie Ondelacy Sprague, M.Ed: (07:45)

Well, this is Jeanie. Um, we thought of a book first because like Amy was saying that that's our go-to, um, it seemed like that was something that would be easily accessible. But as we started down the road of online course, a lot of it just wasn't gelling. It wasn't coming together the way that we had hoped. Um, we wanted to make it interesting and interactive, but as we looked at what we were producing, it, it really dawned on us that the online course format was very temporary. It wasn't gonna be something that would be lasting. And one day I, um, happened to look at my daughter's book that she had another resource, and she had written a little note to herself reminding herself that if she looked at this book for the help that she needed, it could be a great, uh, reminder for her in the future.

Jeannie Ondelacy Sprague, M.Ed: (08:59)

And just that was really impactful to me that she kept this particular book. She held it dear. She didn't read it every day, but when she needed the extra support, she went back to it. It was something that she could refer back to. It was this tangible thing for her that she just kind of had kicking around in her room, but it was there when she needed it. And I turned to Amy and I said, this is what needs to happen. We need to have a resource that kids can go back to, that they can refer to when they have a question. And we're just really proud of the fact that it can be that go-to resource for not only our kids, but so many out there that need that sort of driver's education manual for smartphones. Something that they can keep going back to over and over again.

Hillary Wilkinson: (10:06)

I remember us having lots of conversations about how it seemed a little disingenuous to not offer an unplugged resource , right? When we're Healthy Screen Habits. It was like, yeah, learn healthy screen habits by spending more time on screen. And it was, yes, it felt very disingenuous. So I just feel like the physical nature of this workbook, um, speaks to kind of that, that common sense voice and really like who we are. Now, all of that aside, there are lots at this point, there are lots of different courses, books, resources, different things that people, uh, um, can access and are available to families sort of seeking this digital balance. What makes Healthy Screen Habits for Tweens and Teens Workbook a resource that is different from anything that's out there?

Amy Adams, LCSW, PPSC: (11:31)

Okay, so this is Amy again. And what we wanted to do here was we wanted to have something super engaging. And what engaging looks like for kids is something bright, something colorful, something that wasn't just gonna talk at them and tell them what to do. So that's why we designed it in a workbook form. Um, so that it is literally has questions, has things for them to think about things that they can actually, write down. And then, like Jeanie mentioned, is a tangible thing that they can continue to go back to over and over again. They can see what notes they made. But it's more than that actually. 'cause we, with Jeannie and I, both of us have extensive background in child development. As you know, as you mentioned, I'm a school social worker, Jeannie's an educational psychologist. And so for us, it was really, really important to speak to that whole child because we know development doesn't exist in a vacuum.

Amy Adams, LCSW, PPSC: (12:26)

We know that, you know, figuring out how to use a phone exists in the concept of the development of the whole child. And we also know that the most important task at this stage of development, which is adolescence, is identity formation. So as we're, we are thinking about this, well, how does this all, how do we weave this all together? How do we weave in kids trying to figure out who they are, trying to go towards their best life while also trying to navigate using a phone? And so that's a really key component, is that we really feel that ours is a really comprehensive guide to their whole development and how that they learn to use that phone in a, in a manner that is consistent with also, you know, being true to themselves and figuring out who they are and what they wanna accomplish in, in their life.

Amy Adams, LCSW, PPSC: (13:18)

Um, so it's really, we're super excited about that. In fact, that's how we start  just kind of asking them some basic questions about who they are before we even delve into anything with the phone. We talk about what things they like to do and what are their big plans and who they want to become to try to get those kind of juices flowing. And then we kind of teach them about how phones can fit into that in a very healthy and positive way.

Amy Adams, LCSW, PPSC: (14:17)

This is a workbook that you would buy one per child because they're gonna be filling it out individually Um, and, you know, one of my very most favorite chapters, which I think is speaks to kind of our whole child's, you know, approach here, is we have a chapter called, What to Do When You’re Feeling Meh. And because we recognize that there are gonna be times, especially when you're a teenager, that you don't always feel great. And so what do you do instead of just turning to your phone? What can you do? We talk about the importance of exercise. We talk about the importance of relationships and friendships and doing good and helping other people. And, and we really feel like this is the best approach for helping, um, our kids develop into healthy and happy adults who can use a phone for good.

Hillary Wilkinson: (15:08)

Yeah. And I'm just gonna, um, interject here that, uh, I, I think what you guys have done a beautiful job of also is maintaining, really our primary goal at Healthy Screen Habits is to come from a place of help and hope. We always strive for that positive spin, but we also make sure that anything we present is research backed. And talking about your backgrounds underlines that. There are, I mean, it's four pages of references and resources, scientific articles in the back where everything is linked too. So it's not, I mean, yes, there is a lot of anecdotal stuff that comes through raising, you know, our kids and a lot of common sensical type approach, but we also have a strong background in science-based research.

Amy Adams, LCSW, PPSC: (16:44)

Hillary, thank you for underlying that point. Exactly. Because we come from a place of positivity. Yes. And we come from a place of wanting kids to feel excited. We come from a place of wanting kids to live their best lives with technology. 

Hillary Wilkinson: (17:02)

We have to take a break, but when we come back, we're gonna dive deeper into the pages of the new Healthy Screen Habits workbook for Tweens and Teens, and find out some more of this good stuff.

Ad Break : HSH Workbook for Tweens and Teens

Hillary Wilkinson: (18:09)

Just as you wouldn't let a new driver take the wheel of a car without proper training, using smartphones requires instruction. Healthy Screen Habits now has a workbook designed for tweens and teens to help them navigate the rules of the road for smartphone use. This workbook is what we as moms, as parents wish we had when our oldest kids were getting their first devices. It's approachable, fun, it teaches kids the essentials of phone safety, and it's fantastic. Today the authors are here, Amy Adams and Jeannie Ondelacy Sprague. What do you guys like to do when we are not collectively hand hammering out healthy screen habits, content and, uh, talking to talking and educating families?

Jeannie Ondelacy Sprague, M.Ed: (19:13)

Well, this is Jeannie again. Surprise, surprise. I like to read. So I, but unlike, uh, my colleague Amy, I am not always diving into the, uh, academic world of books. I like to space out a little bit with some, uh, fiction that's, you know, takes me to a different place,

Hillary Wilkinson: (19:34)

Yes, I understand.

Amy Adams, LCSW, PPSC: (19:37)

And I am always in forever trying to get my kids to go on bike rides with me. My dream day is to spend a day at the beach riding bikes on the strand. And I'm hoping to have that happen soon. My kids are always, you know, laughing at me for having this desire, but they sometimes, you know, sometimes will indulge me in that.

Hillary Wilkinson: (20:03)

Yes. And you guys are kind of selling yourself short, because I have eaten at both of your houses. And Amy is also a very accomplished chef . Oh,

Jeannie Ondelacy Sprague, M.Ed: (20:13)

Facts. So true.

Hillary Wilkinson: (20:16)

And Jeanie has a design element that is amazing. Her home is welcome and warm and inviting and hip!

Hillary Wilkinson: (20:28)

Okay. So let's, let's, I'm gonna, I'm gonna inject a little bit of a Wilkinson family in here. And anytime I'm trying to introduce new systems or approach, like sensitive topics, I appreciate having a step in approach I can follow or sort of like a, a “how to” script that I can insert myself in, but just kind of like, how do I begin this? So I'm just wondering, do you have any helpful tips on how parents can introduce this book to their kids and not have it immediately shot down? Because I can see that that would be like, like pushback, right? So how, do you have any helpful tips on introducing this book?

Jeannie Ondelacy Sprague, M.Ed: (21:20)

This is Jeannie.

Jeannie Ondelacy Sprague, M.Ed: (21:33)

Um, I like the driver's ed analogy that you talked about a minute ago, because that is the way that we look at this, this workbook. Now that said, those of you that have had new drivers know that your kids are not super excited to start taking driver's education, um, in any way, shape, or form, but they are excited to start driving. And so they know it's a means to an end. And I think, you know, the reason that they know that they have to do it is because they, they have to understand that they're dealing with something that is beyond their skillset and knowledge, um, from the start. So helping them see that this is a similar situation where the smartphone is a great tool, it's something that they should look forward to using to help them in their lives, but needs to come from a place where they have the appropriate training first is really essential.

Jeannie Ondelacy Sprague, M.Ed: (22:33)

So putting in that framework, I think is really helpful to getting the buy-in from the, from your kid. We know that the teens are out there are not gonna be searching for this book on their own. So parents are the ones that are going to be finding it and, um, purchasing it. And so we encourage parents to look through it and get an understanding of it yourself before you hand it over to your, your child, because you wanna make sure that you are up to speed with all of the things that we are talking about in the book itself too. The book itself is, is something that you can literally hand to your child and have them do on their own. But we at Healthy screen habits are one of our core values is that we are working together as a family and as parents with our children to support them and have a, a relationship with them that they know they can come to us whenever they have questions or whenever they've made mistakes, that we are putting our relationship with them first and foremost as they learn these digital habits that we're trying to teach. So I would say that, that those two things are really important, that we, we gain the understanding of what's being taught in the book, and that we are developing and maintaining and nurturing the relationship of, um, conversation and open dialogue, excuse me. And being able to be that primary resource for our child as they are learning to, to navigate their technology.

Hillary Wilkinson: (24:55)

Yeah. Yeah. And something I also really appreciate for, with the educator hat on, is the consideration of different learning styles that you put into formatting this book. Could you talk a little bit about the details that are included to make it accessible to all learners?

Jeannie Ondelacy Sprague, M.Ed: (25:25)

Yes. So I felt very strongly that, you know, we talk about the way that, um, big tech is sort of hacked our brains and the way that we learn. Um, they use the bright colors, they use the novelty. Um, I wanted to take that hack back and make sure that the book had the visual appeal that, um, learners need. That that novelty is important because that's what helps retain the information. So we use bright colors and we use bolded information and standout features. We put in some features that would help them spot, um, important key concepts, things that we definitely wanted them to remember and have stand out.

Hillary Wilkinson: (26:51)

Can you talk a little bit about the size of font and how, um, maybe people with, some reading challenges such as dyslexia, like I, I found that to be very intentional and insightful. Can you talk about that a little bit?

Jeannie Ondelacy Sprague, M.Ed: (27:11)

It was intentional. I have a dyslexic learner who has an amazing brain, and I realized early on that, um, he's not alone in the world, obviously, and in order to capture his attention, it would need to be in a font that was, um, they, there are fonts that are specific to dyslexic brains, and I wanted to make sure that that was included, because again, it's about retaining the information as much as possible and making it easy to read through. The large size of the font is also something that would help process, um, through the words and help with the learning aspect. Um, we decided that we would have questions, um, to make it a workbook style and, but also that it would be something where we had sort of a scaffolding learning approach where we present the concepts and then we, um, bring the information back at the end so that it would be, um, something that they could ponder and, um, work through and think about, um, to scaffold that earlier.

Jeannie Ondelacy Sprague, M.Ed: (28:28)

Learning and understanding all of the terms have been, um, streamlined so that it would be, uh, easy to understand. The age range is from 11 to 15, but we, we broaden that more. We, we say that, um, for that purpose because some of the topics we talk about are, um, you know, something that sometimes parents can be intimidated about, but we make it simple and easy to understand so that the, any child picking it up, learning these things for the first time, um, can understand what is being taught.

Hillary Wilkinson: (29:15)

Yeah. And that further underlines the importance of what you said earlier about parents, um, flipping through the workbook and just getting a, a, you know, a baseline understanding of what gets discussed prior to setting, you know, setting their kids loose with it -  exactly like any other tool. I mean, it's, it's just like any other tool if I'm, uh, I'm going to use the electric mixer before I am teaching my child how to cook with it, you know? So. Exactly. So, um, what do you hope that kids will ultimately learn from reading and using Healthy Screen Habits Workbook, and then do with their tech? Like what, what do you hope happens after the kids read this book? What's your wish?

Amy Adams, LCSW, PPSC: (30:12)

Well, this is Amy, and our vision is that all kids everywhere will be able to use Tech for Good, use it as a tool. We're very tech positive. We're, you know, we, we, it's here to stay and we want it to help them and not hurt them. And so this book, you know, we've mentioned before, this is, this is a positive book. This is not a doom and gloom book of all the terrible things that are out there with tech. This is a, “Hey, these are some of the things that are out there. This, these are some of the great positive things. These are some of the problems that you may encounter. And so if you can learn how to, you know, deal with it and navigate through these things, you can actually use your tech to really do wonderful things in the world.”

Amy Adams, LCSW, PPSC: (30:59)

We end the book on a very positive note about sharing goodness. We give several examples of kids who have developed apps or just done things with their tech to really make an influence, um, in the lives of other people. And so that is our greatest hope . It's gonna be sticky and it's gonna be hard, just like learning anything, just like learning to drive a car, there's gonna be mistakes made, there might be a little few minor accidents, and we acknowledge that. We accept that, that that is part of the learning process. We mention that in our book. We talk about mistakes, we talk about what to do when you've made mistakes, and we just wanna normalize that we want kids to feel empowered to use this as a tool. We want them to feel empowered to help other people with techs. We want tech to make the world a better place. And we're, our hope is that by really, you know, learning from this workbook and, and using the concepts that that will happen,

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Hillary Wilkinson: (35:27)

My guests today are two of my very favorite people, fellow founding members of Healthy Screen Habits and authors of Healthy Screen Habits Workbook for Tweens and Teens, Amy Adams and Jeannie Ondelacy Sprague. As you both know, my favorite part of each episode is where I ask for a healthy screen habit. And as you guys know, this is a tip or takeaway that our listeners can put into practice in their own home. What do you have for us today?

Jeannie Ondelacy Sprague, M.Ed: (36:39)

Well, this is Jeannie again. First off, we think that this habit cannot be reiterated enough.  Put your phone to bed, have a bedtime for your phone. And we think that this is so important for so many reasons. Sleep being the number one reason. If you have a bedtime for your phone that's consistent, then you are going to be able to have it not disrupt your sleep that the onset and through the night, because if you have your phone with you, then it's, studies have shown over and over again how disruptive, even having it by your bedside without even picking it up, just hearing a ding or just even having it there can affect your sleep. So we recommend that you have a set bedtime for the phone and that it's docked outside of your bedroom. And for parents, um, we, we suggest that that means that children's phones and other devices are docked either in your primary bathroom or if it's far away from your own bed in your bedroom. That way it prevents teens and tweens from sneaking over to a docking station that might be located in a kitchen where it's not, um, monitored throughout the night.

Amy Adams, LCSW, PPSC: (38:12)

So sleep deprivation, this is Amy. Sleep deprivation is a real thing, and I see it every day. Over the past several years. I've worked with hundreds of kids in schools. And one thing that I've consistently seen over and over is sleep deprivation coming from the fact that they have their phones with them at night in their bedrooms. And what that translates into is many things. Not getting enough sleep affects so many facets of a child's life. And principally what I deal with as a social worker is it, it really does affect your child's mental health. It's really hard to have good mental health when you're not getting adequate sleep. And if I could give every child a gift, it would be to get a good night's rest. It will do wonders for your mental health, just that one habit alone. And so, please, for the sake of so many things, protect your sleep by giving your phone a bedtime.

Hillary Wilkinson: (39:18)

Grab your own copy of Healthy Screen Habits Workbook for Tweens and Teens. And if you have more than one child, get them each one of their own. This is a reference resource that's designed to grow with them. They're going to be able to keep it, refer to it, make notes in it. It's meant to be written in and loved. And some of the notes are kind of personal. So tweens and teens by nature are not going to want to share copies of this book, understandably. The best news is that the cost of this book is super affordable. You can easily purchase multiple copies.

Go to our website at healthyscreenhabits.org. The purchasing link is right on our homepage. Amy Jeannie, thank you guys so much for being here today, and thank you. Thank you for the time, effort, energy. You poured into distilling the healthiest screen habits for tweens and teens in Healthy Screen Habits Workbook for Tweens and Teens.

Jeannie & Amy Adams, LCSW, PPSC: (40:41)

Thank you, friend. Thanks, Hillary.