For more info: Kailann's website

Our Season 6 episode with Kailann

Screen-free fun membership

Get Kailann's book

Hillary Wilkinson: (00:00)

I am a huge fan of whimsy, kids and imaginative play, and my guest today ticks all of these boxes. She captures it all within a framework of fun, partnered with developmental research. If that intro seems familiar, it's probably because you heard it when she was on this podcast before in season six when I was focusing on Tech Tots and Littles. She's a former teacher with a Master's in literacy, who helps parents and grandparents and caregivers provide screen free activities through her printable resources and quiet book patterns, page kits and more. But today she's here to talk about her latest book. It's a picture book that I am recommending to everyone. I have not found one that I like more for digital wellness. It's called Screens Away, Time to Play! Welcome to the Healthy Screen Habits podcast again, Kailann Carr.

Kailan Carr: (01:37)

Thank you. I'm so glad to be back.

Hillary Wilkinson: (01:40)

Me too. Kailan. A full disclosure. Kailann and I have been online friends for a couple years as we've both kind of grown footholds in this digital wellness arena. And recently we got to be roommates at a conference , which was super fun. Pajama party type fun. We had, we had a great time and discovered that neither of us are morning people.

Kailan Carr: (02:06)

(laughter)

Kailan Carr: (02:09)

We were chatty at night and silent in the morning . 

Hillary Wilkinson: (02:13)

Exactly. And it worked so well. , I will room with you anytime.  Okay. So Kailann, your overwhelming emphasis is on offline play. And I'm just gonna dive right into it here. Why is play important?

Kailan Carr: (02:36)

The huge main reason is it is how kids learn. Mm-Hmm. like, that's the way they learn. It's the best way for their brains to develop. And it, it covers so many areas. There's the physical where they're mastering their fine and gross motor skills. It covers social emotional when they're learning how to listen to directions, pay attention, resolve conflicts. Um, it's language and literacy. They're learning new words by interacting with others and practicing those skills. And then it's cognitive development where they are working on their executive functioning, their working memory, their self-regulation, their problem solving. And it's just, it's so important. So play builds the brain. And unlike what tech companies and marketing companies, uh, would like you to think that those videos and those screens and those fun games that are on devices are the way to do that. They market it to us parents saying, your child needs to do this. This is how they'll learn. It's great fun for them at the same time, but it's simply not the case. Play is the way.

Hillary Wilkinson: (03:47)

When we think of like imaginative play, like imaginative PlayStations, like the kitchens and the dress ups and all of those things, it tends to be with like much littler guys. And does the importance of play change with ages and stages of kids?

Kailan Carr: (04:12)

No. Even adults benefit from play, like adults. We would be much happier if we took some time out of our busy days to just play and play releases oxytocin and serotonin and, and other hormones. And it's such a good stress reliever and has so many positive, um, mental health effects. And so the only thing is what play looks like will change. So you have your toddlers who just have fun. Their play is taking things out of a bag and putting things back in a bag. Um, then you get preschool level and they like, you know, the imaginative play that you were talking about. Um, and then we tend to think once they get to be tweens and teens, that they're too old. They don't need to play anymore, and they become more social. But it's simply, that's not true. I, I keep watching my kids.

Kailan Carr: (05:05)

They're 10 and 12, and how they play are is different. But, and, and I thought, okay, this is gonna be the time when they're gonna probably stop. And then I'll, I I find them diving in and it's, if you give the kids the opportunity, they still love it. And, and it's us adults. And I've seen the phrase like around, uh, and it's so true that they're not too old.. Their play might look like playing sports outside with friends, uh, playing games with friends or family, uh, and even adults too. You know, do what you love. Pick a hobby and that's your play. Go have fun. Oh,

Hillary Wilkinson: (05:57)

I, I, I, okay, I will. . Let's go . Okay. So this is the time of year when we are setting up systems and frameworks for the school year, right? And so we're kind of setting intention for what this school year is gonna look like and getting kids out the door in the morning and meeting everyone's needs in the evening. And speaking as one who, you know, shared a vulnerable moment earlier that mornings are not my best time. screens can seem like a really easy fix if you have littles who are getting up super early because, um, we know that kiddo’s circadian rhythms do not necessarily match adults , and they kind of follow the light. So if the sun is rising at six, you got little folks scampering down the hall at six. And so while you're getting ready in the morning, in the car, why is a screen free morning routine really a better idea as a way to start our day?

Kailan Carr: (07:13)

I have found with my kids that it just starts our day off rocky, like the dopamine loop starts, you know, early they, they, they, you get that on the screen and then they just keep wanting more it makes them feel good and they don't wanna turn it off, which means they don't wanna get ready, they don't want to eat their breakfast . It just slows everything down. And then once they've had that dopamine fix, everything else seems boring. So they're kind of stunted for the rest of the day. It's like, eh, I don't wanna do this creative thing. I can't, I can't figure out what I wanna do. And then, and so it's just, in my opinion, it's so much easier just to not start that. Uh, don't push the power button, like just keep screens off in the morning and save it for later in the day if you choose to. Um, but I do know that it is, you have things you need to do. And as far as you getting ready and as far as, um, you know, kids, so what I've done, these are my tips and tricks…

Hillary Wilkinson: (08:19)

For the, for the morning time? Yes. I am so grateful to hear these because  yes, any morning tips and tricks are welcome in this, in this house.

Kailan Carr: (08:31)

So when my kids were younger, I would set out like a little invitation to play. And it could be, it, it's not, does not have to be something like extremely time intensive. It could simply be a puzzle where you lay out the pieces that are, you know, you don't have it all put together because then it's not inviting. It's like, well, it's done already. So just have a puzzle that's with pieces that are loose and around, and it's like, here you go. You can work on this puzzle when you get up. Um, you could have a morning basket where you just have a few items that they play with, like, near your bed. So like, say they get up super early and you are not ready, like they can play beside you and, and things that might be just like a book to look at, uh, a puzzle like a little, you know, baby doll, or hands-on toy.

Kailan Carr: (09:24)

Just, just little open-ended toys that they can, um, play with. Or like a workbook, coloring page, something like that. Um, I also recommend keeping toys. The decision amount of toys very minimal because that invites them, you know, it's overstimulating actually to have so many choices. It's just like, I don't know what to do. So if you just kind of give them an aim, um, for just a few options, it really helps the independent play, and that's your goal in the morning. Um, and then also my favorite, favorite thing is to put on a podcast or an audio book. And then they can quietly, you know, they can play while they're listening or they can just lay on the couch and listen. Um, but we use that all the time. And our TV plays, like it plays through the TV. So it's kind of like they're getting that screen time where they're having the control to like push the, push the remote, find what they wanna listen to, and it just plays without the stimulation of, you know, the visual effects.

Kailan Carr: (10:27)

Um, a fun activity too is like, if you're trying to get ready, you need to take a shower and your kids are younger, you kind of want them in the same area. If you have like a separate bathtub or if you're, you know, maybe you're out of the shower, um, and you're doing your hair or whatnot, you can add, like, make a little nest somewhere in the bathroom and like, bring in blankets and pillows. And we've used the bathtub before and bring in books and I, and a few things. And so they have their little nest that they, they keeps themselves busy while you're, when you're getting ready. Um, I also really like having a special drawer. And like, I had one in the kitchen where I would be, you know, fixing breakfast and they would, um, get things out. 'cause they love to be near you, right?

Kailan Carr: (11:13)

Mm-Hmm. like Mm-Hmm. . And so it, it lets them be near me, but, and then it's the novelty. Like, they don't get to play with these toys and take them all around the house. It's just like, you play with these right by me in the kitchen. So magnets were amazing. Um, for our refrigerator, the dishwasher, um, just little like pots and pans and funnels and scoops and things like, just some of their favorite toys that you just put right there. And then had one in the bathroom drawer. So that was their special drawer that they got into. So that really helps, um, get the morning going.

Hillary Wilkinson: (11:52)

I love that. And I, it's kind of fun to hear you talk about all those, those early morning moments with littles, because it makes me think back to when my guys were little. And another, um, just to add onto that was one thing that my kids, when they got a little bit older, now, I wouldn't do this with very young littles, but when they got a little bit older was, um, our kitchen had big sliders, you know, sliding glass doors and using dry erase markers on those windows like in the morning and they'd, how fun, you know? Yeah, exactly. No, but I, I'm with you. I too had a kind of a kitchen setup area and never underestimate the power of the muffin tin. Mm-Hmm. For littles for just like, I mean, sorting Yes. Sorting or picking up, you know, small things out of it. Or I would set it out, maybe fill it with, you know, Cheerios and raisins and you know Mm-Hmm. when they got older and they could kind of start on that. I, I could prefab breakfast easily. Yes. And yeah, my, and I mean a a six cup muffin tin was was a container of choice. 

Kailan Carr: (13:13)

Um, yeah. I love that. To, to give them that independence and show them, okay, you can start making your own breakfast if you get up early. Like teach, start, start that young 'cause it, yes, it is great when they are older and you get to, you know, I'm, I'm, I don't feel guilty. I don't fix my kids' breakfast. And it, I I don't feel guilty about that because I think I am teaching you responsibility and how to take care of yourself. And so I'm not the mom who like makes the eggs in the morning and fancy breakfast. Like, nope. You, you, uh, do it yourself.

Hillary Wilkinson: (13:52)

I'm laughing because you and I talked about this when we were together, you know  post morning wake up and we were actually in our talking zone again and I, yeah, I too went through a little bit of mom guilt of like, oh gosh, I know some people who do like, you know, I mean the full on spread every morning with like eggs and bacon and toast and all of this stuff. And I just had to go, “You know, guys, you didn't, you didn't pull that mom card.” 

Kailan Carr: (14:20)

Yeah.

Hillary Wilkinson: (14:21)

You got, you got a different lady. But I can, I can be awesome in other ways, but

Kailan Carr: (14:26)

Right

Hillary Wilkinson: (14:27)

Before 7:00 AM not so much . 

Kailan Carr: (14:29)

Yeah.

Hillary Wilkinson: (14:31)

So that's the first part of the day. And knowing that we're going to the school year after school can be pretty crazy. There are days when it feels like you've like, got two days, right? Where it's like the time before 3:00 PM and then your second day that happens after pickup. Mm-Hmm. . And what, how do you recommend families set intention behind screen use in afternoons and evenings?

Kailan Carr: (14:55)

And I think that's the key is set an intention and decide beforehand your, you know, what you'd like to do. Because in my, my family, I thought about my kids go to school and they're on a computer and I don't know how long they are. Like, I've even asked this school, I'm like, can we get some like timeframes here of how long? And they're like, sorry. It is just, we just don't know. And I'm like, so I just assume the worst. Right? I assume that they are on it more, more than what is recommended because we know that, you know, one to two hours is basic all, all the screen time that a child needs for their entire day. And that's easy to do during a math lesson and a reading lesson, you know, so I, in my family, we save screen time for the weekend and just during the week, I know that they're getting it at school and I want them, it's so important for kids to have open-ended free play.

Kailan Carr: (15:58)

And we, we do also do like the afterschool sports, the piano lessons, the Girl Scouts and the Cub Scouts. So we definitely have a busy afternoons and evenings so that, that time is so highly valued just to have that block of space and time where they get to decide what they want to do and that's how that play happens. And it can, they can develop their hobbies and, and try new things, and then they can also just rest from a really overstimulating day at school. And so that's when we also use podcasts a lot. My son loves it. He'll just come in the door, kind of decompress, listen to a podcast or an audio book. Um, and if you do decide, I know when we were younger, when the kids are younger and they went to like a half day preschool, you know, we did have more time in the afternoons and evenings, and that's when I used screen time as a tool for me to kind of, um, give a break and reset for the evening shift.

Kailan Carr: (17:03)

And I chose intentional shows that were less stimulating and I kept it on the TV as like more of a family event. I could see it, um, the kids were watching it together. And so I do think that you just need to decide ahead of time, not when you're in the moment and try to stick to it. Of course, there's days and times where you're sick or you they're sick or you know, you need a little bit of help and that's fine. But it's, it's the areas like it's your routine that really need to try to stick to.

Hillary Wilkinson: (17:36)

We have to take a break, but when we come back, let's dive a little deeper into helping our kids explore the reasons why we are maintaining that tech intentional focus. 

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Hillary Wilkinson: (18:02)

Kailan Carr's mission is to prioritize playtime for kids living in this digital world we are currently existing in. She loves reading and road tripping and is a tireless advocate for kids. And one of the ways she does this is by co-chairing the early childhood work group at the Screen Time Action Network. But the hat that I am super excited to talk about is the one that Kailan's going to talk about next, and this is the hat of Author . So this past year, we got to cheer from the sidelines as she published her fifth book. And this one, I, you know, I, it's hard to choose a favorite, but this one so far, I think everyone that comes out is my favorite, but this one is my favorite so far. It's a picture book, it's got adorable illustrations, fun rhymes. And the part that I love most importantly is it teaches the kind of the why behind staying offline for kids in a friendly fashion. So Kailan, what's the title of this amazing book?

Kailan Carr: (19:37)

It is Screens Away, Time to Play.

Hillary Wilkinson: (19:40)

Right. Okay. And what was your muse? Why did you feel like the world needed this book right now?

Kailan Carr: (19:48)

Because of my children . And so I, a former teacher here, so I love using books as teaching tools, and they're just such a great way as a parent to introduce a topic without being like the naggy mom who, you know, the kids aren't gonna listen . It does it in a fun way. So of course, when my kids were born about the same time as the iPad 10 and 12 years ago, and they, I just saw things when, I mean, we had it, it was new. My dad is a super tech guy, thought this is amazing. And so we, we had one and I saw things I did not like, um, how they, they were just obsessed. They turned zombies, then they had behavior issues and crying when it was time to turn it off. And I was like, whoa, whoa, I do not, this is not worth it to me.

Kailan Carr: (20:40)

We will stick with our TV and I'm gonna put this away. And I literally, I did, we, I put it in a drawer and we didn't use it again. And so I, of course, the new teacher me, I'm like, okay, I want to have a book that that explains like why we need to limit screen time and play. And I searched and there was nothing out there. We had Bernstein Bears and Too Much TV, , and like, there's nothing that has the, the devices that are with us all the time. And now that there's research out that shows why the screens, you know, why we act the way we do with, with when we're on screens. So it just came to me. I just was like, this is how I want to tell my kids. I, there's not a book out there. The rhymes just float out of me.

Kailan Carr: (21:26)

And then I wanted to also highlight the fun because screen, I wanna explain the effects of screen time, but like give ideas of other things that they can do to, like I mentioned earlier where they get, they use their screens and they're like, Ugh, I'm, I'm done now what, what in the world do I do now? And so just simple ideas that are around the house, you know, things that you can do that easy. Like the, the kids might not think of it, the adults might not think of it. And so this book is a resource for parents and kids to use to refer back to, I would love if Screens Away, Time to Play was like a household motto, . And you know, you say that and then you, you remember the book, you realize your why and what you can do instead. I've heard of families leaving it out on like a coffee table so they can go back and look through and they need an idea. So that was the goal.

Hillary Wilkinson: (22:22)

Awesome. So what you brought it up and when I described it earlier, uh, Screens Away, Time to Play is written in this kind of rhymey style, but I don't think just talking about it is doing it really the justice it deserves. , would you be able to read a few pages? Do a little author read here for us?

Kailan Carr: (22:42) 

I would be happy to. Okay. And it starts out too, there's a little doll hidden throughout. So you have to find the Seven Dolls and or eight counting that one. And, uh, I've heard so much great feedback. The kids absolutely love searching through the book and finding that doll. Okay, so it starts off, “I know it's hard to turn screens off. You see they're made that way. They're really irresistible. Your brain says stay all day screens get your brain excited and they leave it wanting more. It sometimes seems compared to screens that everything's a bore, but screens can make you cranky when you've had a bit too much, your brain gets overloaded with the flashes sounds and such. Yes, scientists have studied this and here's what they've seen, learnings better in real life, not played out on a screen. And when you watch, you're missing out on everything around, like outside time and making friends adventures to be found. But if you aren't using screens, what can you do instead? Just keep on reading here, my friend for great ideas ahead, magician, doctor, astronaut, play dress up with a friend, go grab a stack of favorite books and read them till the end. Build a tower out of blocks and watch them as they fall or color pretty pictures that can decorate your wall.” And then it goes just lots more pages of more activities. And then we cover how it's okay

Kailan Carr: (24:19)

To be bored. We, we cover how it's a good thing and how sometimes you might use screens more when you're feeling sick, but that's okay. Just keep, get back on track. Um, we talk about when you're out in public, like to just enjoy the world around you and, and talk to people and, and so yeah.

Hillary Wilkinson: (24:40)

So yeah. So you talked about the illustrations, you talked about the little doll and one of the kind of main or the lead characters in your illustrations is a little girl with red hair that matches your own. Did you inject a little of yourself into these pages? ?

Kailan Carr: (25:01)

No, actually, um, my daughter has more red hair than me. Ah, she is actual authentic redhead. So I do have, um, there's so many kids. I wanted it to be, um, inclusive as possible to have all kinds of kids see themselves in this book. So I did make sure, um, to have a wide variety, but I picked, um, my, my nephews and nieces and my kids. They, I got, they got to pick a page and pick a little character what activity they wanted to be doing.

Hillary Wilkinson: (25:33)

Oh my gosh, I didn't even know that. How cute, I love it. Okay, so one other thing that I appreciate about this book Screens Away, Time to Play is there are discussion questions in the very back. And as you know, one of the hat, one of the many hats that I wear, uh, is teacher substitute teaching. And this book is kind of like my go-to in my extra bag of tricks that I bring with me into classrooms. And it makes it so, uh, uh, it is just, it, it seems like I'm hitting the easy button, but it just makes it so easy because the questions at the end are really great for getting kids to think and discuss how their body feels after spending time online or other things as well. So I really appreciate that you included those discussion questions.

Kailan Carr: (26:23)

Thank you. And then also there's free activities too that comes with the book at the end that you just go to QR code that'll be sent to your email and there's like a restaurant scavenger hunt, there's puzzles, there's a science experiment, there's coloring pages, there's a lot of extra free resources.

Hillary Wilkinson: (26:43)

So many great things. It's a great gift for teachers or anyone who does, like I do like substitute teaching new moms. I think it would be awesome to have in like pediatric waiting rooms or speech therapy offices. Like I said, I think it should be everywhere. . So we have to take a short break, but when we come back, I'm going to ask Kailan Carr for her healthy screen habit. 

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Hillary Wilkinson: (27:15)

My guest today is Kailan Carr, a huge fan of fun! I encourage you to check out her website at kailancarr.com. I'm going to link it in the show notes because she also has not just screens away, time to play and amazing other workbooks, but she also has this membership that is called the Inner Circle. It's screen-free fun for kids, roughly ages three to seven, where she creates new printable, like seasonal screen-free sanity saving activities each month. So you don't have to do any of the searching or planning, it just gets delivered to you. It's awesome. Kailan, it's a new school year time for new habits for us all to aspire to. And as you remember on each episode, I ask for a healthy screen habit, which is going to be a tip or takeaway that listeners can put into practice in their own home. What's yours?

Kailan Carr: (28:23)

I have two important purchases that I am loving. A watch is simple, but I was using my phone as a watch all the time. And so that led one thing to another. I'd look at the time and then, oh, I have a, a notification because I do have, you know, my phone is silenced and I don't have notifications that pop up, but I do have, you know, texts or a phone call or or whatnot. So any, anytime I like would go look at the time it would distract me onto my phone or I'm just like, Hey, let's check things out. Um, so definitely using a watch is

Hillary Wilkinson: (28:59)

Like an analog watch to be clear right on my

Kailan Carr: (29:02)

Wrist, not an watch, not an Apple watch, right?

Hillary Wilkinson: (29:04)

We're talking, talking like Mickey Mouse hands, .

Kailan Carr: (29:06)

I don't even own an Apple watch 'cause I don't want that on me 24 7. Like I don't, I want to step away and just live my life . Mm-Hmm. And then my other purchase is a walking pad for when I do need to be on the screen. I notice like I, I mean going from, you know, I'm creating these digital activities and writing books and on the computer a lot more than I used to be when I was doing quiet book things and I was more sewing on my machine and I just, I really noticed a drop in my focus and attention and productivity and I got a walking pad and oh, I love it. I am able to walk and get my steps in and work at the same time. Like, I can't write like a whole blog post at the time, but like checking email, responding, working with my mouse, creating things, it is so helpful.

Hillary Wilkinson: (30:03)

I am absolutely going to look into that because I just think like the sedentary aspect of podcasting and mm-hmm. creating digital things, et cetera. It is, yeah. I am absolutely going to look into that. Yeah.

Kailann Carr: (30:20)

Okay. Highly recommend

Hillary Wilkinson: (30:23)

As always, a complete transcript of this episode. Links on how to purchase screens way time to play, as well as a link to kaylyn's website. KailanCarr.com can be found in today's show notes and you find these by going to healthy screen habits.org. Click the podcast button and use the dropdown menu to find this episode. Kailan, I can't thank you enough for being a great roommate in Portland, and reminding us all about the importance no matter your age, no matter your stage in life, for making time to play,

Kailan Carr: (31:03)

Thank you so much for having me again and being my, my such a huge supporter.