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Ultimate Activity Guides: 1-Year-Old, Toddler, Preschool Activity Books,  Learning ABCs, Math, Developing Readers

Little Engineer Coloring Books: “How to Build A House” “Cars & Trucks”, “Space & Rockets” etc.

Hillary Wilkinson: (00:00)

Navigating the many complexities of parenting has always been demanding. Generationally. Parents have faced ongoing challenges trying to understand what is happening in the world that their kids are growing up in. And modern parents are no different. We get to do all of these things plus confront our own special hurdle, the omnipresence of technology. And today's guest is here for it all. As a childhood educator, author and parent, she has navigated the challenges of screen time management with her own kids and faced the very familiar scenario of dealing with tech tantrums. And the 10 more minutes meltdowns. In short, she's one of us. She's in the trenches. Welcome to Healthy Screen Habits, Autumn McKay.

Autumn McKay: (01:02)

Yeah, thank you for having me.

Hillary Wilkinson: (01:04)

Autumn, what was the sort of wake up call that made you recognize the need for a change in your home?

Autumn McKay: (01:13)

So, there were a couple of things. Um, so when our oldest was about two, we used to let him like play on, um, some apps on our phone. 'cause I mean, it's what is advertised to you? Like this is gonna help your kid get smarter and all these things. Um, so like on downtime and stuff, we would let him play like a, b, c games or whatever. And we noticed that there were big meltdowns. Whenever we said time was up, it was always  “NO!, like, I want more time.”  Um, and so we just, we didn't wanna fight that battle anymore. And, um, so we, we got rid of screen time for kid, for our young ones, and then, um, for myself and my husband, like, we noticed that our kids were kind of like fighting for our attention over our phone. Um, where we were, we were more focused on like the email or the text message or the notification that we were getting more than, um, on our kids. And they were frustrated with that. And then we would get annoyed because they were trying to get our attention, you know, but they were just trying to get our attention 'cause like, we're mom and dad. And, um, so yeah, those were the two big things that really like made us take a look at how much time we were spending on screens and, and the, the downfalls of being on screens.

Hillary Wilkinson: (02:50)

Yeah. Yeah. Well, good for you for being so dialed in that you were able to recognize, you know, I mean, it's when the, when the glowing screen has your attention, it's hard to notice anything else around. And so that your kids were able to get your attention tells me that you, you were probably a little more focused on them than you're giving yourself credit for . Well, thanks,

Autumn McKay: (03:14)

.

Hillary Wilkinson: (03:15)

It's funny, that whole, um, that instance of this screen of parents being dialed into a screen and it being almost like a trigger for kids to like, “Oh, okay, now I'm gonna do something really attention getting!” uh, this, this sounds very funny, but my sister even noticed the same activity in her French bulldog , which she, she talks about her French bulldog would walk over and just like, scratch her leg when she noticed she wasn't paying enough attention to her. So, you know, demanding, demanding French bulldog.

Autumn McKay: (03:56)

It's, it's the same way with kids,

Hillary Wilkinson: (03:58)

Right? Right. . Okay. So at Healthy Screen Habits, we don't teach or strive to be tech free. We strive to be tech intentional and find kind of this age appropriate balance between screen habits and real life experiences following the age guidelines recommended. We follow the American Academy of Pediatrics. And knowing that you, among other things in your, in your, uh, long repertoire of what you're, of all the things you do, , one of the things you do is you have several books that focus on the early years of childhood. And what do you recommend for early childhood use of screens?

Autumn McKay: (04:41)

Um, so I have also looked at the, um, American Pediatrics recommendations and, um, before Covid, they recommended no screens, um, before the age of two. But I noticed, um, when Covid hit, those recommendations changed. Um, so I recommend the longer that you can wait on screens, the better. Um, the more that you can let your kids do with, with their hands, their eyes, their nose, like all the, using all their senses, the better. Um, I don't believe that they will be missing out if they don't have screens in front of them when they're in at the preschool age or, um, even in kindergarten. Um,

Hillary Wilkinson: (05:36)

Yeah. Yeah. I like that you, um, particularly focus on doing stuff with their hands because what we, yeah. What we have found is that there's been a loss of finger strength and a loss of coordination, you know, just with swiping habits. Mm-Hmm. And it's, so we, we have these, these digits for a reason and we are supposed to be using them. So I, um, I like that you emphasize the hand stuff. So when we come back, we're gonna talk about some strategies for being a better screen free role model, for our kids, and how to set some structure around fostering a balanced lifestyle for kids. 

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Hillary Wilkinson: (06:49)

I'm speaking with Autumn McKay, a mom of three and founder of the website Best Mom Ideas with the goal of helping to empower, equip, and encourage moms to be their best mom, she's got tools, tips, and takeaways for all of us. And Autumn, one of the things that I think is so very tricky about teaching and modeling healthy screen habits is this sort of ubiquitous nature of tech. It's everywhere. I mean, you pull up to a gas station and the pumps have little screens and you're getting like the, you know, ads and the weather thrown at you. And I mean, I don't know about your town. In our town, it is very difficult to find screen free family dining options at restaurants. Interesting. Yeah. I mean, it's just seems like there is a television hung in every corner of a restaurant. So how did you establish sort of these like screen time boundaries for your family?

Autumn McKay: (08:01)

Um, so we started in our home, um, we started with no tech at dinner and we wanted to focus on the people around us. Uh, and then we also, have someone to keep us accountable of, of using or minimizing our tech use. Um, for me and my husband, it's, it's each other. Um, but if, if your partner isn't, on board with limiting tech time, then find a friend that can hold you accountable. And then I, I had a lot of excuses for why I needed my phone, but, um, like, I need my, my phone to tell me the time, or I need my phone for an alarm clock or, I needed it for GPS or things like that. But in reality, it was just an excuse to keep my phone with me. Um, so we got an old fashioned clock for our living room.

Autumn McKay: (09:05)

We put that up, we got watches and we wear those for telling time. Um, we got an alarm clock with a snooze button . Um, and then we also like made sure that we don't sleep with our phones in our rooms. 'cause you have more restless sleep if, even if you have like, do not disturb on your phone, just having that phone in the same room, your brain is like geared to listen for anything that could ping on the phone. Um, we deleted social media off our phones. Um, we, we basically try to make our phone as dumb as we can. Um, that way we're not enticed to use it. And all of those changes didn't come at the same time. They were like progressive. Um, so we just started simple with eliminating tech at the dinner table. 

Hillary Wilkinson: (10:04)

Mm Yeah. Yeah. No, you guys are, um, kind of a model Healthy Screen Habit family!

Autumn McKay: (10:11)

I don't know. Yeah. I don't know if we're models, but because it can always like reel you back in,

Hillary Wilkinson: (10:18)

That's the truth.

Autumn McKay: (10:19)

Yeah. Yeah. So you have to like, be conscious of, wait a second, this is pulling me back in, and you have to like restart those habits again.

Hillary Wilkinson: (10:28)

Yeah. But I like your explicit decisions to, you know, wear the analog watch, you know, wear a wrist watch, not a, not a device that's on your wrist, you know, like an Apple watch, right. But wearing a wrist watch, putting a, putting a, uh, the, uh, the clock in the living room, you know, all of those things are just very concrete tools that people can use to kind of just keep tech in its own lane. It's like, I mean, we, we love the benefits that it brings to us, but somehow through under the, the veil of convenience, it's weaseled  its way into all of these other areas. And it's like you said, you know, you pick up your phone to check the time and you see, oh, I got this notification. And then it's like, oh, it just, one thing leads to another, leads to another. So I like your, your tools for, you know, just like I said, keeping tech in its lane. So one of the things also that, um, I know you're, you're kind of big on and I think is really important, particularly with the younger set, is the importance of setting routines and how to foster like this. Though I, I keep calling it a balanced lifestyle. I don't know if that's the correct terminology or not, but if you've got a better word, I welcome it!

Autumn McKay: (11:51)

I think that one’s good.

Hillary Wilkinson: (11:53)

Okay. So can you talk about that though? Like talk how setting routines can help keep, keep tech its lane?

Autumn McKay: (12:01)

Uh, yeah. So we're, I'm a big believer in routines for kids. I think structure helps them to understand like what is coming throughout their day and there's no like, um, unexpected, uh, changes and things like that. Um, so it just really helps them to have balance and, um, I guess lower their stress and anxiety a little bit just because they, they know the routine. They know, um, the layout of the day or the week or whatever it is. And I'm not like, all right, nine o'clock breakfast time. It's just like a, like a, we have breakfast and then we do activity time, and then we have some playtime, and then like, it's kind of just like a, these are the steps of the day, not like a we have to be rigid and timed, um, activities and things like that.

Hillary Wilkinson: (13:03)

Right. So it's more like a pattern of the day. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. No, I get that. Because every day's different too. Exactly. Um, I think that's, uh, that's your, your, uh, your educational self is showing , . You start each day with a lesson plan, and then you just have to like get on the board and ride the wave, whatever's coming your way. Yeah. So I understand that . Um,

Autumn McKay: (13:30)

But I, I think having the, the structure and the routine of the day, uh, keeps the, downtime, like the, the bored time, I guess you could say minimal. Mm-Hmm. . And so like, you're not, the kids aren't asking for screens or you're not, okay, we don't have anything to do. Here's a screen. Um, so I think that helps.

Hillary Wilkinson: (13:56)

I could not agree with you more because I think also when you set up that pattern, they kind of, they're, they're not going to ask for the screens when they know. It's like, it's not time yet. Exactly. This isn't what we do at this in my house we, uh, had the rule during summer. Summer's tricky, right? Because mm-Hmm. You just, it's wonderful 'cause you've got this great expanse. You get these long periods together and it starts out where , you know, I'd have all, like, all the activity boxes filled and, you know, and then, you know, after your third week of bubbles and sidewalk chalk and all of the things, it, uh, you know, it's like you said, it's easy for that tech to just kind of creep back in.

Hillary Wilkinson: (15:16)

But for my mind, I had to, I put in place the pattern or structure, if you will, of, “oh no, we don't do screens until a certain time” until Mm-Hmm. , and it was at my house. “I, we did have some video games and, um, it was 3:30. And so I can remember , this is how creative kids will get, I can remember kids coming over at like three o'clock and then just like sitting and staring at each other and waiting because they knew like 3:30 was the magical hour that the Wii could get unlocked, you know, . But, but that being said, , you know, and then, and then it, it came off at a certain time and then we were done. But they, they knew to anticipate that. And yeah, and it, I, I do think that setting those patterns early in life, it carries forward with healthy, you know, a healthy lifestyle.

Hillary Wilkinson: (16:16)

Because I have had feedback, my, the, the, the kids that I raised are now young adults. And, um, the feedback that I've gotten is they're like, oh, it feels wrong to be watching Mm-Hmm. To be watching a screen or to be playing a game like midday or early in the day. They said that's, they said, it makes me feel a little sick, because that was the only time they were allowed to have screens earlier in the day was when they, you know, everybody, you know, you, you have the stomach flu, you get a hall pass on a lot of stuff, , right? Yes, yes. You know, . So, but I, I'm like, I thought, oh, that's, so, it's, it's a good, it's encouraging to hear, right? Right. Yeah. It's kind of like when I was growing up, we didn't, um, my parents were very health, health conscious.

Hillary Wilkinson: (17:08)

We didn't have a lot of sodas or you know, what I would call, um, you know, novelty foods, in the house, but when you were sick you got 7-Up, you know, . But, but to this day, I don't care for seven up because seven up makes me feel like, oh, I got the stomach flu . So, so it's a little bit like that association, you know. Oh, so speaking about, you know, we've got this warm weather upon us. Things are coming into spring is in full swing and, uh, the days are getting longer. What are some of your favorite alternatives to screen time this time of year?

Autumn McKay: (17:51)

Uh, so we love to get outside as much as we can. Um, so we will go for like a nature scavenger hunt or anything involving water is awesome. So we, um, I will like freeze uh, water down paint and then they paint with ice cubes or they just, um, pour water into different buckets and like see what fits and things like that. Um, we like, uh, I'll, they'll write in chalk and then they have to erase it with a water paintbrush. Um, so it just like practices handwriting and reinforces it. Um, just, yeah, anything outside or anything with water at this time is like a huge win in our house.

Hillary Wilkinson: (18:39)

Yeah. Yeah. And so great for just overall physical health, ocular health. I mean, we've had having a big problem with myopia.. Mm-Hmm. With our littles not getting long distance viewing, you know, so Yeah, I totally agree. Uh, if you what, because you've kind of made early childhood your jam, I should say , , you know, both obviously personally, but as well as professionally. What do you wish all parents knew about early childhood in relation to technology?

Autumn McKay: (19:19)

Uh, I think I would, um, like parents to know that like, you can opt out of tech at school. Uh, it is not required. Uh, and really not necessary. I think honestly, that they can learn just as much or more from just doing, uh, like hands-on or physical in-person learning. Um, 'cause they can't, like looking at someone and looking at their mouth when they speak is a lot more effective for learning than it is to watch a screen and hear the same thing, uh, from a screen.

Hillary Wilkinson: (20:03)

I totally agree. And we do have, you know, I sound like the gloom doomer over here. You know, we got, we got myopia, we got , but I also, I mean the, the rates of speech referral are, are increasing Mm-Hmm. . And so it's important that we do provide that face-to-face interaction. And yeah. And then, I mean, it's one of those things also where I think there's so much modeling that goes on unconsciously even when we're with kids where if they say, if we say, “Oh, you know, and what's this animal?” And they say, “wabbit” it. And we say, right rabbit, you know? Mm-Hmm. , you, you model that immediately for them. Right. And they're, they're looking at your mouth, they're seeing how it works. They're, you know, and they'll try and mimic it back. Whereas if it's tech, the tech just keeps going. Exactly. It. Just so I, I agree with you completely. Um, so, uh, Autumn -  Healthy Screen Habits is a non-religious organization. And on your website you have some like Christian Faith-based language. You also have a line of activity-based books for early childhood. Are your books Faith-based as well, or what can, what can listeners expect when they purchase on?

Autumn McKay: (21:24)

Um, so there is one activity book that has, uh, three Faith-based activities in it. Um, so the Ultimate Toddler Activity Guide, um, I have themed, uh, holiday activities in that book. And so there's, there's three activities for Easter and Christmas that are Faith-based, but there's also others that are not Faith-based. So you can choose to do those, or you can choose not to do those, and you'll still have some regular activities,

Hillary Wilkinson: (21:56)

Right

Autumn McKay: (21:56)

To choose from.

Hillary Wilkinson: (21:58)

Right. And those, those books are available anywhere. I mean, you can get 'em on Amazon, you can order from Barnes and Noble, they're, yeah. Okay. We have to take another short break, but when we come back, I am going to ask Autumn McKay for her best mom healthy screen habit. 

—Ad Break - HSH Workshops

Okay. My guest today is Autumn McKay, author of several early childhood books like The Ultimate Toddler Activity Guide and the Full Life Gratitude Journal for moms. She's the founder of best mom ideas.com and finds joy in outdoor activities, reading and dream vacation planning. So now I, I, now I wanna know more about that. What's your dream vacation ?

Autumn McKay: (22:50)

Mine would be a private island .

Hillary Wilkinson: (22:55)

So you're a, you're a beach girl.

Autumn McKay: (22:57)

Oh, I'm a beach girl. .

Hillary Wilkinson: (22:59)

Very good. Okay. Autumn, on every episode of the Healthy Screen Habits podcast, I ask each guest for a healthy screen habit. And this is going to be a tip or takeaway that our listeners can put into place nearly immediately. What is yours?

Autumn McKay: (23:19)

Uh, so mine would be no electronics at the dinner table. Um, not even in your pocket. Put it over on the counter out, out of sight. Um, and even put it on silent mode if you need to. Um, just make sure that you focus on the people that are around you.

Hillary Wilkinson: (23:35)

Yeah. Yeah. And I think that, I mean, it's so important for, I mean, a variety of reasons, but I think just focusing on our family relationships or even the relationships of people around us is so important. I mean, we know that there is a loneliness epidemic occurring. I mean, the Surgeon General has put out an advisory , you know, and loneliness stems from not, you know, not feeling connected to other people. So you can essentially add years to your life and your children's lives just by taking that time to connect with them. Because they say that loneliness can be as deleterious to your health as smoking like seven to eight cigarettes a day. 

Autumn McKay: (24:33)

 Wow. I didn't know that.

Hillary Wilkinson: (24:34)

It is amazing. Wow. When you start looking into just with the, uh, the stress levels, the, you know, the quarter, all of the neurotransmitters, all of the things, it kind of like builds Mm-Hmm. But yeah, really amazing. So, as always, you can find a complete transcript of this show and a link to all of the resources discussed by visiting the show notes for this episode. You do this by going to healthy screen habits.org. Click the podcast button and find this episode. 

Autumn McKay: (26:23)

And I have a freebie for your listeners. Uh, it's called the Ultimate Mom Saver Activity Bundle, and it's six free activities from one of my books. And then it also includes six coloring pages from one of my husband's books.

Hillary Wilkinson: (26:37)

Oh, fun. I didn't know your husband did coloring books.

Autumn McKay: (26:41)

He does. So he's an engineer and he wanted to teach our kids like how things work. And so he, um, made coloring books that teach different processes of like how to build a house or how cars and trucks work, or how we got to space and things like that.

Hillary Wilkinson: (26:59)

You guys are not just the best mom. You're the best, best dad. Also best parent ideas. . Okay. Okay.

Autumn, thank you for all that you do for helping moms and families find their best selves, , and encouraging everyone to enjoy life offline.

Autumn McKay: (25:23)

Thanks.