The Cycle of Vulnerability

Here's the breakdown:

There are three points on the cycle, and vulnerability can begin at any of these points.

Because we have to choose an entry point, let’s start with talking about Emotional Discomfort or "Big Feelings" (the box on the left). Childhood and teen years have uncomfortable moments; it’s a time of massive change and self exploration. Change is hard. Learning is hard. When it becomes overwhelming our kids seek to move toward comfort by self-regulating or self-soothing.

Often because of digital convenience, or not knowing how to self-soothe, kids turn to digital distraction. This is a problem. Distraction is not self-care. This use of digital distraction can in turn become an overuse of technology.

Excessive unchecked time on screens and social media can lead to the "compare and despair" phenomenon, early access or accidental exposure to inappropriate or disturbing material, and an overall habit of using distraction in place of self-care. 

Having no resolution of the original issues that lead towards comfort-seeking, kids become trapped in a perpetuation of this loop. 

The worse they feel, the more they use, which in turn makes them feel worse; and then they use technology even more...

How do we break this cycle? Click on our Tools page to find the resources to help.